


Oh Worm?

by TheNako



Category: The Book of Mormon - Ambiguous Fandom, The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: Absolute and complete crack fic warning, Sort Of, Worms, mcpriceley, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-07 22:58:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15917994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheNako/pseuds/TheNako
Summary: Worms are great, until they aren’t.Yeah.





	Oh Worm?

**Author's Note:**

> I just found this in my drafts and I’m scared.

One day, as Connor McKinley strolled along, definitely  _ not  _ looking for Elder Price, he fell into a hole.

It wasn't a very deep hole. However, it was a very nice hole. It was perfectly round, and just the right size to fit in. He sat there for a minute, just happy to be leaning against the warm, moist dirt. 

_ Wait, why am I sitting in a hole? _

He shook his head. Why? Who needs to ask why? Not everything needs a reason, especially for nice things like a comfortable hole. See, this was the problem with society. Every little thing needs a reason!  _ Why do you like boys? Why don't you like apples? Why are elephants green? Are elephants green? Why, Connor, why? Why why why?  _

Some things are just meant to be. 

He sighed. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't just stay in here forever. Or could he? 

Unfortunately (fortunately?), a certain person by the name of Elder Price popped in his head, and that was enough to give Connor the motivation to get on with life. 

He stretched, then slowly poked his head out. He giggled, just slightly, because he imagined somebody finding him, with just his head growing out of the ground like a very very red cactus.

If someone were to come along at that very moment, they would have been very concerned, because they would see _ the district leader’s _ head sprouting from the ground and, 10 feet away from it, a massive jeep heading (no pun intended) straight toward it.

Of course, Connor heard the noise and ducked his head in, since he valued his head very much. He didn't think much of the face on it, but his hair was very beautiful.

When he heard the jeep pass, he made to get out of the hole again. This time, he made it out to his shoulders, when he felt something brush his fingers. Something wet. Something … slimy. He slowly looked down.

_ What. Is. That.  _

He answered that question himself. It was a worm. He had volunteered at a nearby national park when he was in high school, and he was a bit of a “creepy crawly things in the mud” expert. Not that it was going to be impressing anyone. People didn't seem to be all that amazed with his daddy long legs expertise.

Worms were one of his neutral animals. He loves dogs and hated elephants with a passion, but worms? Meh. 

Normally, he would have just looked at it, said “Huh, that's a worm,” shrugged, and walked away. However, today was different. After all, they were hole buddies! It had to be fate! He offered it a piece of his sandwich. 

It ate the piece gracefully.

He smiled, and everything was great. 

Until he got an idea.

“Hello, Mr. or Mrs. Worm. I am Elder Connor McKinley of the Church of Arnold. Would you be interested in joining? I have a copy of the Book of Arnold right with me right now, actually … Here it is! Here, just take a look!”

The worm held still.

“Here, wait … um… you can start right here, actually! Page 46, my favorite!”

The worm slithered away. Or at least, it tried to. 

He turned back, frightened, to see a ferocious red headed human being that had just become very, very angry holding his tail (his beautiful tail!) and tugging.

“Oh, I won't take too much of your time!”

The worm shed a tear. 

_ Rest In Peace, my dear tail. I hope you make it to someplace where redheads do not exist. _

Then he ran.

All that was left was a very, very angry Elder McKinley and a worm tail.

“HOW DARE YOU!”

The sound woke all of the worms in 10 feet radius. All the worm mothers whispered to their children, “Now, honey, go to sleep. If you don't, the scary monster will come and get you! See, you can even hear his bellowing!”

“YOU INGRATE!”

And that was how Elder Price found him, covered in dirt, screaming “ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY TAKE CONNOR MCKINLEY’S FOOD” and beating a worm tail against the walls of a hole.    
  


**Author's Note:**

> This is me running away from an essay due in 2 days, 5 worksheets, cleaning my room, and 2 in-progress fics that haven’t been updated in 2 months.


End file.
